Fish's+One-Act

__Characters:__ Fredward: A lazy boy that needs a girlfriend, but is usually rejected, dumped, or cheated on. :'( George: The one who steals Fredward's girlfriends. Whether this is on purpose or not is unknown. }:) Mr. Waydyn: He's George's father. He likes to ramble about nonsense. Probably has ADD. Mrs. Waydyn: She's George's mother. SHe likes to scold Mr. Waydyn for rambling about nonsense. Risa: Mr. and Mrs. Waydyn's daughter and George's little sister. She has freakishly abnormal strength, like how George has freakishly abnormal speed.

__Setting:__ (I'm sorry, but there are . . . 3 settings . . . so that means that there will be three times too . . .)

1: In the car on the way to a restaurant. The car is musty and. . . a buggy. And its bright yellow so its very noticeable. The car smells like cologne because Fredward also wears too much cologne to try and impress the ladies. Haha! It has a leather interior and a 3 CD changer and crystal clear HD radio. xD There is an ashtray, too, because it is Fredward's car and he likes to smoke. Bad Fredward.

2: In front of the Waydyn **MANSION**. It is freaking HUGE! In front of it is a very long walkway to the front door, which is also very large. In the long walkway, there is a fountain, but there is also a pathway cutting through it and that's very cool. It has one of those naked angel statues where the angel is holding something and water shoots out of something random. To the right of the mansion is a rather largish, smallish (depending on what you think large and small is) lake with a dock for rowing boats and a good view of a sunset.

3: Inside the Waydyn **MANSION.** Inside is freaking HUGE, also. But this takes place in the dining hall. In the stage center, there is a long table that could seat. . . like. . . 50 people on each side. And! Above the table are 5 chandeliers. . . I guess that means one chandelier above every 20 seats. Cool! Behind the head seat (which Mr. Waydyn sits in) is a large family portrait. Yay! To the stage left, there is a door, which is stairs leading to Risa's and George's rooms.

__Times:__ (READ THE SETTING STUFF FIRST, THEN YOU'LL UNDERSTAND THE 1, 2, AND 3)

1: It takes place after the usual time a person would get off of work, which is around 8-ish. So, the car drive actually takes an hour, despite how short their conversations seem.

2: It is in the morning. Not early morning, but not lunch yet either. Somewhere inbetween that, really. So the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and squirells are waltzing around. ..

3: The place is well lit because of the numerous chandeliers, so everything is crystal perfect and clear.

~THIS IS FISH'S PLAY~

**//__Fredward’s Miserable Love Life __//**  **//__Scene 1 __//**  //(It is after work and Fredward is seeing George to his car. Technically, Fredward is George’s chauffeur since George can’t drive. George is wearing a tuxedo and looks overly nice for that evening. Fredward is still in his uniform. Fredward opens George’s door and George steps in. Fredward gets in and starts the engine.) //  Fredward: You look oddly nice today, sir.  George: //(straightens shirt)// Thank you? I never expected to hear that from a man. . . I have a date with a Ms. Nikki.  Fredward: Nikki, huh? Funny, my girlfriend has the same name!  George: Well, there’s a lot of Nikki’s in the world.  Fredward: Mmhmm, there sure are. //(Takes out cigarette and blows smoke, looking at George)// What’s her last name? //(Car turns sharply then brakes suddenly, making the two lurch forward)//  <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: FREDWARD! KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD! BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL OR WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(Fredward looks skeptically at George and puts both hands on the wheel, then his attention turns back to the road as the light turns green) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: You never answered my question. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: Oh, that? Her last name is. . . Paola. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Odd last name. . . sounds like a first name. . . wait a second! //(Eyes widen in realization, then quietly to himself)// That’s **my** girlfriend’s name! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: What was that? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Oh, nothing sir. //(shakes head)// How does she look like? And, um, where did you meet her? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(Car is a block away from the restaurant where George’s date is. Fredward tries to slow down un-noticeably to stall time. George tells Fredward about the girl animatedly.) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: I met her at a flower shop. . . <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: //(to self)// That’s where **my** Nikki works! She works in a flower shop! Wait, no, this could just be a coincidence. That’s all. A coincidence. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: She has long dark hair with dark brown eyes and she’s a little over 5 feet tall. She will be wearing a light blue halter dress tonight because she called me OVER AND OVER just to decide what she would be wearing and I told her that light blue is my favorite color so she decided to wear something of that color. //(Points out car window)// Look! There she is! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(The girl, who is inside [not seen by audience] has her back turned to George and Fredward. George jumps out of the car eagerly and walks to her with a collected suave. He bows to her and she takes his arm. Fredward peers carefully at the girl’s face and realizes that it **is**, or **was,** his girlfriend. He bangs his head on the steering wheel, honking the horn by accident. George looks over to the car and waves to him. Fredward sinks down on the seat.) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Oh, my Nikki. . . Stupid George! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">~AFTER THE DATE~ <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(George walks back to the car at around midnight, where Fredward is leaning back into the driver’s seat, another cigarette in his mouth. He is perfectly still and a fly has landed on his forehead. George opens the door, sits down, then closes the door.) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: Fredward, I am sorry. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(Fredward, finally noticing when George came in, turns to George in confusion.) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Huh? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: I didn’t realize that was your girlfriend. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Well it was. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: I’m terribly sorry, Fredward. I’ll make it up to you somehow. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: And how will you do that, sir? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: I will find you another girlfriend! //(pulls pen and paper out and writes something down on it)// Come to this address at noon on Saturday. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Why do you want me to come to your house, sir? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: Because there is someone special I want you to meet, Fredward. You will really like her. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> **//__<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Scene 2 __//** <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(Fredward gets out of the car. He is wearing a suit and tie. There is a cigarette in his mouth and he has a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. As soon as he gets out, his mouth gapes wide open and the cigarette falls to the ground. His arms drop to his side and he drops everything he was holding.) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Th-That’s. . . That’s their house?! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(George opens the front door, running from the inside of the house to meet Fredward, who is still on the sidewalk. He hugs Fredward so hard, you can hear the snapping sound.) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: Oh, FREDWARD! We’ve been waiting so anxiously for your arrival! Especially my sister! She looks exactly like me, you know! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: EXACTLY. . . like you? //*eye twitches as he stares at George// <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">~ INSIDE THE WAYDYN ESTATE~ <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(There is a long table. Mr. Waydyn sits on one end, with the family portrait above his head. Fredward sits on the other end, bored, another cigarette in his mouth. His head is on the table. George is standing on the right side of Fredward.) //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Mr. Waydyn: //*rambling. All the while, he is stroking his beard through his whole speech*// The Waydyn family has been in charge of the military for many generations. We have generously contributed donations and buildings, such as headquarters. Many high ranking officers have come out of our family. I used to be a General once. . . oh, the good days. . . <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: //*sniffles*// Father’s stories are always so touching. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(Door to right opens and Mrs. Waydyn steps out. She closes the door behind her. Staying where she is) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Mrs. Waydyn: Dearie, what did I say? Did you bore our guest with your long, dull speeches like you always do? Didn’t I tell you to stop doing that? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Mr. Waydyn: Yes, sweetheart. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Thank GOD! The mother seems normal. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(//Mrs. Waydyn walks up to George and turns out that she’s taller than her son. Fredward screams and falls out of his chair, his cigarette falling again.)// <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Never mind! She’s not normal at all! She’s a freaking giant! //*hyperventilates to calm himself then gets back on chair. Somehow, the Waydyn family is oblivious to all of this*// But it only makes sense that if the father’s like that //*points to father*// and the mother’s like that //*points to mother*// then the son would come out like that //*points to George*// But that must mean the daughter looks like. . . ummmm. . . Oh boy. //*shakes head*// No, some traits are more dominant and show more in the offspring! Say the mother is a tomato and the father is a potato! If my math is right, she could end up looking more like one parent than another. . . and turn out to be a pomato with the tomato’s traits being more dominant! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Mrs. Waydyn: Risa, dear, come out here! Don’t be shy. It’s not an attractive trait. //*looks toward door*// <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(Door opens slowly, but Risa is still inside. Fredward turns around, praying.) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Moment of truth! Does she look like her mother? Or her father? If she has to be a potato or tomato, please let her be a tomato! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(Risa steps out slowly. She is wearing a sundress and is blushing for unknown reasons.) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Risa: H-Hello, Fredward. I’m Risa Waydyn. <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: //(Fredward turns around and jumps up, his hands in the sky)// JACKPOT!!! //*turns back to Risa*// So, uh, Risa? What do you like to do for fun? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Risa: I’m pretty good on the piano. . . <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Aw, she’s so cute! There’s no way she’s George’s sister! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Risa: I’m a little good. . . under the piano. . . //*lifts piano up with one hand over her head*// <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: //*turns back around, screaming*// I take that back! She is SO George’s sister! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: Is something wrong Fredward? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: But if I look past her freakishly abnormal strength, that leaves her looks. . . her fashion. . . her estate. . . and her influence. . . THEN I REALLY HAVE HIT THE JACKPOT!!! //*jumps up then turns to face Risa*// Risa, you would make me a happy man. Would you go out with me? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Risa: //*blushes*// Fredward. . . in my dreams. . . I’ve always dreamt of meeting a man like you. . . <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: Yes? And? Go on? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Risa: Except more attractive like my brother! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> //<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">(George appears next to them, doing a superman pose. Fredward falls to the ground, sobbing, his hopes crushed.) // <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Risa: You’re not really my type, so let’s just pretend this never happened, okay? <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">George: It’s alright, Fredward, I’m pretty sure you’ll find a woman one day. Be like me! <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';"> <span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: 'Century Gothic','sans-serif';">Fredward: //*sadly and hopeless*// I guess I’ll just die alone. ..