Megan's+One+Act

A Chaotic Disaster  // (It is outdoors. The sun is shining and the sky is clear and blue. There are trees along the sidewalk. There is a three foot fence separating the café from the sidewalk. The café is outdoors, with white wooden chairs and tables, with bushes surrounding the enclosed area. Eli is sitting at a table reading.) // // (Kyla and Carmen enter on the sidewalk beside the café. They walk slowly down the sidewalk towards the cafe) // **Carmen:** //(trying to be optimistic)// Are you excited? This is going to be fun! Right? **Kyla:** //(Sarcastically optimistic) Yeah// and eating cockroaches alive is also a lot of fun! I can’t believe you talked me into this blind date. **Carmen:** //(rolls her eyes)// Come on…Byron’s not that bad…Just for this once; PLEASE? **Kyla:** //(crosses her arms in front of her, pouting. Angrily)// Fine. You’ve had your fun. I’ll go on this stupid blind date if it makes you happy. **Carmen:** Haha. I **WIN**! Don’t worry you’ll have fun! Thanks anyway! I owe you! **Kyla:** //(grumbling to herself)// Yeeeah you sure do. // (They reach the front of the café. Eli is standing at the reservation table, bored, reading a magazine.) // **Carmen:** Excuse me. //(Eli doesn’t do anything. She raises her voice so that he can hear her).// Excuse me. **Eli:** //(he lazily looks up and says in a bored tone)// Can I help you? **Carmen:** I had reservations for 11. **Eli:** //(still bored)// Uuuuh yeah. Uh come this way. //(He lazily picks up the menus and waits for Kyla and Carmen to follow. Kyla and Carmen stay at the table. Annoyed)// Are you coming? **Carmen:** //(Going to Eli, as if she’s telling him a secret)// Well, you see I’m not the one going out to lunch. I set up two of my friends on this blind date and then like Kyla over there //(pointing to Kyla)// didn’t want to, but I kind of made her and now I’m really happy since she agreed and… **Eli:** //(interrupting to stop Carmen)// Uh yeah that’s nice. You’re table’s over there. I’m just going to leave the menus there and whoever is eating can go over there when they want. //(He walks away going back to reading)// **Carmen:** //(confused)// Thank…you? //(she walks back to Kyla)// Okay so your table is over there //(pointing to the table)// and Byron should be here any minute. Be nice. **Kyla:** //(bored and slightly sarcastic)// Yeah, I will… **Carmen:** //(ignoring the sarcasm and enthusiastically)// Okay! OMG! Call me right after and tell me what happens! Okay bye! Have fun! //(Carmen exits)// // (Kyla takes a deep breath, shakes her head, and slowly walks and sits down at the table. She flips open her phone and starts texting her other friends to cure her boredom) // // (Byron enters, stopping at Eli. Eli motions to the table where Kyla is at, not looking up from his magazine. He walks up to the table) // **Byron:** Are you Kyla? **Kyla:** //(not looking up from her phone, dully)// Sure, why not? **Byron:** //(he slowly and awkwardly sits in the other seat, looking around the café. There is an awkward silence) (Nervously)// Um… so you’re Carmen’s friend? **Kyla:** //(still not looking up from her phone)// Well why do you think I’m here? **Byron:** //(He stifles a nervous laugh. Trying to start a conversation)// So do you play any sports? Or do you have hobbies? //(he trails off at the end, mumbling)// **Kyla:** //(finally looking up from the phone.)// Yeah I play tennis… //(She turns back to her phone)// **Byron:** //(He remembers something. He grabs a red daisy from his back pocket. He holds it out to Kyla)// Oh… this is for you. **Kyla:** //(surprised)// Oh. Thanks! //(she takes the flower)// You didn’t really have to get anything! //(She smiles, not bored but happy)// **Byron:** No problem! I… //(he stops in mid-sentence. He has a terrified look as he sees a huge honeybee on the flower. He anxiously fidgets in his chair.)// **Kyla:** //(ignoring the odd pause)// Oooh! Wonder if it smells good… //(she starts bringing the flower up to her nose. Byron reaches his hand out to grab the flower her, but it’s too late. The honeybee flies on to Kyla’s nose. There is a loud, piercing scream.)// OOOOOOOOOOOWWWW! Ow ow ow ow ow! That was SORE! //(she puts her hands over her face, closing her eyes and leaning her head back in pain. Byron starts biting his nails, not knowing what to do. Kyla leans forward again and opens her eyes.)// YOU IDIOT! Are you trying to kill me?! //(Byron nervously shakes his head.)// AREN’T YOU GOING TO GET ME ICE OR SOMETHING? //(Byron nervously jerks his head, looking for help. Kyla leans back again, closing her eyes. Byron spots Eli and runs over to him)// **Byron:** //(stuttering)// U-u-uhhhh excuse me? But my date just got stung by a bee on her n-n-ose. D-d-o you have any i-i-ice for h-h-er? **Eli:** //(lazily looking up)// Ugh. Fine. Why can’t you just get your own Mr. Lazy-Butt? //(he walks into the kitchen. He comes out holding a towel filled with ice.)// Here. //(Sarcastically)// Enjoy! **Byron:** //(Very grateful)// THANK YOU! //(he runs to Kyla who is still screaming)// H-h-here’s-s-s y-y-your i-i-ice. **Kyla:** FINALLY! //(she swipes it out of his hand and puts it on her nose gingerly. She takes a deep breath. She looks calm, not angry anymore. She carefully puts the ice back on the table.)// Well…sorry about that… **Byron:** N-no I should be the one who’s sorry…I mean I brought the flower and all… **Kyla:** No, it’s okay. It was nice of you! //(They both smile and start looking at the menu)// Hmm… so many choices… what are you going to eat? **Byron:** I don’t know. Oooh the pastrami sandwich sounds good! **Kyla:** I think I’ll have the pasta. **Byron:** //(Calling to Eli)// Um, we’re ready to order… **Eli:** //(Eli sighs and rolls his eyes, getting up and walking towards their table) (Bored and annoyed)// Okay, what do you want? **Byron:** I’ll have the pastrami sandwich and she’ll have the pasta. //(Kyla gives Eli the menus. He takes them and lazily walks back to his table. He throws the menus on the table and walks into the kitchen.)// So… you play tennis? **Kyla:** Yeah, for about 2 years now. **Byron:** Cool… **Kyla:** Do you play sports? **Byron:** Well, I’m not really into sports. I play the trumpet. **Kyla:** Okay… is it…cool? //(Byron is about to answer when Kyla puts her hand over her eye.)// Gah… I just got a drop of water in my eye. Where did that come from? //(The sky turns from a blue to gray as dark clouds start to come in. Both Kyla and Byron look up at the sky, realizing where the water came from)// **Byron:** What the…? //(It goes from one rain drop to a light drizzle. It rains progressively harder, until it is almost pouring)// **Kyla:** //(Kyla screams, trying to cover her head.)// O MY GOD! //(she cringes in her seat, trying to hide herself from the rain.)// I HATE RAIN!!! I NEED COVER! I CANNOT GET WET! THIS IS A NEW SHIRT! I BOUGHT IT YESTERDAY!!! //(Byron is slightly twitching at Kyla’s screaming)// BYRON! OMG DID YOU NOT HEAR ME? I NEED COVER FROM THIS RAIN! **Byron:** Umm… Umm… Umm… //(Unsure of a solution since the café is outdoors he runs around the café looking for some kind of shade.)// **Kyla:** //(picks up her phone)// Great. My phone is now broken because it got soaked by RAIN! //(Byron is still running around nervously. In the distance we see Eli at his table putting up his own umbrella. The ground is wet, but not flooded. There are countless puddles. Finally the rain stops. The sun comes out again and the sky is blue. Everything looks the same exactly the same except Kyla and Byron’s clothes are wet, and their hair is wet and frizzy. Kyla tries to calm herself down from her second outrage. Eli puts down his umbrella. Byron stops running and walks to the table)// **Byron:** S-s-s-so s-s-s-s-sorry a-b-b-bout t-h-h-hat… **Kyla:** //(who is calm again)// It’s okay. Again, it’s not your fault. I guess it’s just Mother Nature… I must look ridiculous! //(She laughs. Byron is too traumatized to answer—because of her screaming.)// Hmm... I wonder where the food is. I’m starving! //(Byron senses that Kyla is in a good mood again. He steps toward the chair, but slips in a puddle. He falls to the floor gripping the table. They both laugh as he sits properly in his seat.)// Slippery puddles… //(she smiles to herself)// // (Eli comes out of the kitchen, carelessly carrying their plates of food.) // **Byron:** Yum! Food’s here! **Kyla:** YES! // (Eli is about 5 feet away from their table when he gets slips in a puddle. The tray goes flying in the air. He reaches up from the ground trying to catch it. The food flies and lands all over Kyla. The dishes shatter. Eli manages to catch the tray on his hand. Kyla and Byron sit in shock. Kyla is covered in meat sauce pasta and pieces of lettuce, tomato, pastrami and mayonnaise.) // **Kyla:** //(Anger sweeps across Kyla’s face. Angrily)// Oh. My. GOD! This is DISGUSTING! //(she pulls a clump of the pasta out of her hair. She dusts of the meat sauce on her shirt)// And my new shirt! It’s RUINED! It’ll take DAYS to get these stains out! //(she grabs her purse and stands up)// You know what? I can’t STAND THIS anymore! Enough of this dumb blind date! Bye. //(She angrily walks out, food still in her hair and clothes. Byron sits, staring at the empty chair. He has a face of shock and confusion. His mouth hangs open.)// **Eli**//: (looking at Byron) Has// she ever considered anger management classes? ** THE END

comment: I really loved your play! I thought the actors did great and the plot of the story itself was so interesting and funny! -MHaley ** 